Being a stay at home mom seems like it’ll be the easiest job in the world; You’re home all day; with your kid/kids. Not in the physical working world. Probably to those on the outside looking in, or probably to those who’ve never stepped foot in a daycare on a hectic day. Basic adult interaction is pretty much nonexistent; and you may become awkward when you actually get a chance to interact with other adults. You sometimes feel like you’re not doing much with your life, and that you should be contributing more financially; even if you just power cleaned your entire house, just to do it again a day or two later with sweat dancing down your forehead, thinking where’s my pay? Then for your husband to walk in from work, fall into the bed after a long day, and you start to feel envious, like am I deserving of a break or even a 30 minute nap since I didn’t actually work? Mom guilt pretty much tries to consume you. This is the dark side of being a stay at home, and I’m here to share.
I noticed that almost everyday I feel guilty. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a empath but I’m constantly shaking this nuisance feeling of guilt. I feel like others are judging me because I’m at home with my babies and not outside working. I manage everything so even when I pay bills; and my husband lost a source of income from this pandemic, the lady asked, “Well, where’s your source of income.” I do actually have my own source of income and it’s frustrating that even still, I feel like it’s not enough. And I need to leave home, and go out to actually work. That’s only because of what society has painted. I’m doing enough, more will only cause burn out.
Wanting a job to get a “break”
I personally have this endless need to find a job. I don’t like the idea of feeling like I’m dependent. And prior to having children I’ve always worked two or more jobs at once. Now that I have two children, they are a full time job. At times I start to feel envious that my husband leaves for work, interacts with coworkers and then gets to come home, shower, play with the kids and when he’s tired go to sleep when he’s ready. With this “job” there’s no breaks (not even when you’re sleep), no pay, and no one to talk to about it. Sometimes seeing my friends have jobs and then come home and be with their kids makes me feel depressed; probably because I tell myself well I could do that to, some of my single friends make it look so effortless, and here I am whining about being a full time mom and my husband falling asleep after work. But these emotions are temporary. Because for me I feel so fulfilled when my child does something that I took so much time to teach her, and it amazes people.
I love being a stay at home mom; but these are the feelings that can coincide with it. I constantly want to find a job so I can feel like I’m contributing to the household; but as a stay at home mom, you are contributing, and what you’re doing around the house is enough. Your babies appreciate you, and they love everything that you do. That’s the best payment. I’ve had the experience from both sides and when I was a working mom, I came home from work just to clock in as mommy at home and honestly I prefer giving my children my undivided attention regardless of these annoying feelings that try to attack me. Because working full-time and being a mom can be mentally and physically exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to be able to be a stay at home mom, especially in this day and age. And if you have the opportunity, patience, and it’s something you really want to do, GO FOR IT. I learned to challenge unwanted feelings/emotions very early in life, so I’d recommend that you do so as well. And, just know these feelings are not friendly, but they’re temporary and they are just that, feelings; they come and go. When my little girl look me right in the face, smile and genuinely tell me. “Mom, I love my life!” That lets me know I’m doing just fine no matter how I feel. Whether you’re a full time mom, working mom, whatever. We’re moms and it’s hard for us all, but we’re in this together. Stay well my friends!