Here’s some of the pros and cons I’ve encountered while breastfeeding. I’m sharing this because I solely breastfed both of my children, and this could help moms who are exploring their options.
Little to no cleaning
No bottles, unless you’re pumping milk; there’s no bottles to clean up. Super easy, and convenient. Saves time in the kitchen, especially if you have older children that already create a ton of dishes.
No prep, just feed
No odd smell, I noticed that with formula it leaves an odd smell on baby’s breath. It probably bothers mama more than baby; but I noticed there’s no smell with breastfed babies. From time to time they’ll have a sour milk smell on their neck, but a nice bath will easily rid that odor!
Weight loss
You will burn calories like you’re at the gym. It depends on how often you’re nursing or pumping milk. You can lose up to 200-500 calories daily. That explains the intense hunger I went over in this video.
Milk neck
Is that a thing? I don’t know, but it seems like when babies are teething they drool A LOT and it leaves a sour milk smell on their neck. It happens with breastfeeding, but it’s not as much. It an also cause a rash around your baby’s neck if it it isn’t dried and cleaned off properly.
Hard to wean
If your baby/toddler isn’t ready, they will put up a fight! I breastfed my first child for 2 and a half years and this little girl was not ready at all. I tried everything to wean her. I was about 6 months pregnant when I ran out of milk. It happened gradually, I started nursing her only twice a day and whilst incorporating The Band-aid Method to encourage my child that enough was enough. But instead my milk just stopped producing, she wasn’t happy for the first few days but got over it and opted with lactose free nonfat milk.
Baby is clingy
This is a blessing and a curse because it’s so adorable; it allows you to feel the all the love you know your baby has for you, but it can also be a nuisance when your baby only wants you and no one else.
Baby will refuse bottles sometimes
I sometimes I have to run errands without my baby and I would pump bottles for her and she will not take them. She refuses them because she’s used to solely nursing. So unless you alternate between bottle breast milk and direct latch feeding. Your baby may show you his/her preference relatively quick.
Biting
Once they start teething they will start using you as a chew toy. And it will hurt, but I’ve learned to take it away from baby and give her a sad face. It seems like babies communicate through body language and facial expressions. They’ll eventually stop doing it. This approach worked well with my first one quickly. She only painfully bit me four times, I believe. They will bite you a lot but it won’t hurt every time.
There you have it, is breastfeeding for you? If you have any questions on how to get started or even to just keep going. Respond to this in the comments! Share with your friends, and I hope this is helpful.
This is what got me through. Every time a contraction hit, I breathed right through it. Like when you stump your toe and you stop for a second to realize what just happened. I focused on my breathing so much that I had a rhythmic technique down packed, similar to mediation. (In through your nose and out through your mouth.) The nurse that was helping even said to me, “You have a pain tolerance like nobody I ever seen before.” And I was thinking, “I doubt that!” I actually think I’m pretty wimpy when it comes to pain. It was the breathing techniques, that’s all I can say!
“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Create a playlist
Make a playlist with all your favorite tunes. There’s are tons of music streaming apps that offer free trials if you’re not interested in a reoccurring subscription. (Just remember to cancel before your trial ends so you won’t be charged.) I do this ALL the time and I set reminders on my phone to let me know a day in advance to cancel!
Get help
Get your spouse SUPER involved, like they were during creation.. well not that involved. But have them hold your hand, do counter pressure massage techniques, and tell them what you need them to do to assist. After all, it takes two to tangle.
Pack snacks
The first time giving birth they starved me! They didn’t want me having any type of snacks, trust me, I asked. My husband was sneaking me Graham Crackers; I’m not 100% sure of why some hospitals don’t allow mama’s to eat during labor. ( I think it’s because of the poo they’ll have to clean up after labor.) 🤢 but whatever the case may be, be prepared. My second time in labor, I went to a different hospital and they offered me snacks along with the snacks I had stashed. (Because I wasn’t planning to starve this time around.)
Everyone’s experience will be different. For my second baby I wanted to have a home birth so bad. We had just inherited a home (although we didn’t know if we could keep it or not. It’s still in probate.) I felt like my life was going on a more spiritual path. It was time for me to take risks and do things as I saw fit. I wanted to bring our child into this world at that home because it would be our first home. (I will post about that another day.) I ended up having a hospital birth because things kept getting mixed up with the midwife I initially had for my home birth, so it didn’t work out. However, I did have a beautiful experience at the hospital, the nurses were friendly, and the room was nice, and always made sure I was comfortable. Plus they gave me snacks! 👍🏾
These are the techniques that I use to help with my anxiety. It’s effective for me.
1. Cleaning, and reorganizing my space.
Ever since I was a child, I would always reorganize my bedroom, move my bed in a different direction, clean under my furniture. I would try to recreate a therapeutic space, like something you’d see in a magazine or on TV. Refolding my laundry and linens, and organizing them to fit an aesthetically pleasing way.
2. Candles, Incenses, Sage.
I love things that smell nice, it just makes me feel happy and relaxed.
3. Mediation,
I love playing high frequently music, and closing my eyes and humming, sometimes I sit in the Sukhasana position and close my eyes and focus on my breathing. Or I lay flat on my back and close my eyes and visualize my favorite colors. this is a great way to relax and unwind after a hectic day.
4. Playing with my daughters
My imagination is has always been creative, and my daughter is the same. We love to play dress up, make cute videos, and make make believe with my daughter. She is literally my best friend. I always wanted a little sister, and I feel like my prayers were answered and I got something even better, two daughters!
5. Making videos
I been making videos since 2008. I enjoy looking back at it. It’s like a time capsule for me in a way.
6. Anything artistic
I paint, draw, write stories, read, do crafts, crochet. Play video games
7. Researching survival skills
I’ve been fortunate enough to meet people from all different walks of life. And they’ve taught me so many different things, like canning my fruits and veggies, gardening, and making a lot of my meals from scratch. I’m a practically a homemaker. I create cleaning solutions and constantly learning to learn more.
8. Decor
Wind chimes, birdhouses, bird feeders, flowers, and outdoor things. I love sitting outside. (if I can keep the mosquitos away.) That’s why I enjoy cooler weather, because those little vampires are out for blood! I love hearing the birds in the morning, and my wind chimes making music. It’s so euphoric. I feel happy and content. I could be worried about something that happening in my life at the moment, but when I hear this at 5am, and see the sun beginning to rise. I feel so grateful that I’ve been granted another day,
Life is hard, but I always try to appreciate the little things in life, the grass blowing in the wind, the songs the birds have to sing early in the morning. My family and friends, you know things that money can’t buy. We are in this life together, I hope these techniques are helpful ways to relieve some of the stresses of your life.
If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts there’s help. 👇🏾👇🏾
“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”
—Wayne Dyer
We all have it, it’s a normal emotional response to what life has to offer. Some have it worse than others, some have it under control. For some, it feels like it’s consuming. But don’t fret! You’re not alone, here’s how I cope with my overwhelming anxiety. I’m not a medical expert, doctor, or psychranist. I’m just sharing my life experience with you in hopes that maybe this can help someone.
Just Be
Simple as said. Life is definitely a ride. I was listening to the nursery rhyme “Row, Row your boat” with my children and I don’t know if it’s the air or the pandemic that’s going on right now, but that song is so underrated. All the memories of my life experiences played through my mind as I listened to the lyrics, “like a dream”, and I sat there and thought, “Huh, life is really like a dream all your memories are now only replays in your mind of how you perceived it, and the others who are apart of that memory perceived it from a different viewpoint also. We’re all experiencing the same thing differently. You’re the pilot inside the boat (Your soul), and the boat is similar to your body, and you’re just cruising through this life, no matter what waves, or tides it has to coming at you. I know this may sound unreasonable, or how can I just be when it feels like everything is crashing down on me? I’m personally still figuring out how to grasp this concept for myself. But listen, it’s possible. Last year felt like it was the absolute worst year of my existence, and I’m not exaggerating either but that’s a topic for a different day.
You know those people who are seemingly content. Like nothing bothers them, they could’ve of just lost their job, or even their home and they still seem to be “OK” or have it all together. You’ve ever encountered a person like that? You probably think what’s wrong with them? Why aren’t they stressed over the fact that they are going through so much? Well, first, they’re not “OK” and if you ask them, they might just tell you that they are. But in actuality, they’re not. They’re reacting differently what’s happening to them. People who don’t let the obstacles of life worry them are so amazing to me. I’m learning how to be that way, I seen a post, ” You were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it”
That is so true, people also say, “God wouldn’t give you more than you can bear.” It’s all one and the same. Don’t allow it to worry you, just keep going. You can also use what you’re going through to motivate you as well.
Don’t give In
I used try to explain to others that I have to anxiety in hopes that they’ll understand or I guess in other words, “Go easy on me.” man was I wrong. Once you allow it consume you, that’s win it has won. You don’t have to explain to others that you have it bad, because I’ve personally realized that people will see it as a weak spot, and they may treat you worse. Or some people are not empathic at all, and say “Well we all have it, so you’ll be fine. Get over it.” Not realizing that you’re not experiencing it the same way a “normal” individual would. Anxiety is a normal response to stressful situations. But when your anxiety levels are responding to simply ordering a cup of coffee at Starbucks as a stressful situation, you more than likely have an anxiety disorder. And someone telling you to just get over it because it’s something we all have is not going to work. You have anxiety, BUT it doesn’t have you. We have more control over ourselves than we like to admit. You literally have the power to calm yourself down when you’re in an emotional disaster. IT”S NOT EASY, NO. But you have to tell yourself, “I’m in control, this is my life.” At least that’s what I do. I can’t control what happens around me or how everyone else respond. But one thing I have power over, is how I respond. When I’m starting to feel like it’s consuming me, I stop, take deep breaths and tell myself, “You are in control, this is only temporary.” It may not work for everyone, but that seems to work for me. You may have bad anxiety, but it doesn’t have you. You ever seen the Disney movie, “Inside Out”? All the emotions depicted as little personalities Like Joy, Sadness, Anger, etc all inside the characters, are there for you for a reason. I know it might be a childish comparison, but seriously look at your anxiety as one of those little characters, and you’re telling IT that YOU ARE in control, you’re the pilot, and YOU have the choice of how you react.
Do things that Make You Happy
Did you know that women are twice as likely to have an anxiety disorder then men? For me, I enjoy to make everyone around me happy, even if that means I might not be happy. I clean, cook, you know do all the typical things a stay at home mom would do. When I go shopping, I buy things that I know will benefit the household, and not something that just I alone would solely enjoy. It’s apart of being a mom, a wife, empath, etc. (Being strongly empathic is a topic that I’ll get into another day.) Anyway, you have to do what makes you happy, what did you enjoy before having children? What hobbies did you have in your adolescence years? DO THAT, if it’s painting, invest in painting supplies, and do that for YOU. Creating art is very therapeutic for me. I enjoy art, I feel almost instant relief from worries when I’m sketching or drawing. If you enjoy creative writing, WRITE! Do something, that you enjoy, and don’t allow guilt to make you feel like you’re being selfish. Because guess what, you’re not. If you don’t do things to please you, you’re technically being selfish to YOU. You’re robbing YOURSELF of the happiness and love that you give to everyone else. So, if you want to take an hour long bubble bath, and sip wine with your favorite tunes playing, do so at all cost. Treat yourself how you would treat your lover, your children, or your pet, whatever you nourish and care for; do the same for yourself. You are your first investment, if you’re not happy, your children are watching you be unhappy, and they’re learning unhealthy behaviors from you, your little ones are studying you, and a lot of us don’t even realize it. Most children adore their parents. I watch SO many tv shows, and movies of parents being unhappy, emotionally drained, or mean to their children and guess what, their children still love them unconditionally, so if you’re going to do anything at least make yourself happy for them.
Accept It
You know how they say the first step to recovery is acceptance? Well, that actually was the last step for me. I’ve finally accepted the fact that I have bad anxiety, and it may possibly be a disorder, but it does not have me. I am trying different techniques to conquer this, and allow myself to enjoy life the way I deserve. We can’t go around allowing one of our emotions control us. That’s not humane, and if you feel like it’s uncontrollable, talk to your doctor about it, they may have options that’ll be suitable for you. For me, I could not take prescribed medications, as it actually increased the symptoms I was experiencing, and I did not like it. But remember that everyone is different, and what I experienced you may not. For some odd reason people believe that mental health is a joke, and that taking medication for it makes you make you weak or crazy. But believe me when I tell you, you are taking control of something that you may feel that you have no control over, and that is why we have doctors, resources, and content like this to help you. I am only writing this to share what I’ve experienced, so please don’t take this as medical advice. Thanks for reading, share with a friend! Make suggestions in the comments for topics you’d like to read, and topics I should discuss on future post! Check out my related content on Youtube!
First time I was so ill prepared, going to the hospital didn’t even know my water was broken, not knowing what to expect, pretty much scared shitless. I watched tons of YouTube videos, read articles of what to expect but it was not enough. Possibly it could never be. You can never be prepared enough for delivery; I joined a lot of mom groups. I even read the what to expect book TWICE and here’s what I’ve gathered to share with any first time mom.
The first time around I was not prepared, I did not have any chapstick and lips were not happy about it, I didn’t even know I was in labor! My oldest baby’s head worked as corkscrew; which is why I didn’t have any noticeable leakage! I heard a loud pop noise whilst binging the Netflix show “13 Reasons Why” late at night on April 8th, 2017 and my husband didn’t hear it either. Well, of course he didn’t because it was my water bag in my body! But I brushed it off because no one heard it but me. I continued the entire next day with my water broken, doing housework and everything. Until I decided to Google if a loud pop noise I heard be associated with membranes rupturing and I was legit thinking, “What if that was my water?” I read articles about how that could’ve happened and it could lead to infection because the bag isn’t sealed anymore. So, I panicked and quickly texted my husband to leave work and take me to the hospital. And around 11:55pm I found out that my water bag had indeed broke the night before and that I needed to be induced to get the baby out before the risk for infection increase. My birth plan went out the window. My baby was born a healthy 6 pounds 5 oz at 37 weeks 5 days. (Well that was my delivery date according to the doctor. But I’ll post a separate article in regards to KNOWING ONES BODY.”
The second time felt simpler. I had a better idea of what to expect. I was more confident and made sure to eat properly, drink water, and get mentally equipped for this experience. My due date was December 5th, 2019 and that was predicted based off my last menstrual cycle. I labores at home for the most part of my labor. It felt like menstrual cramps and it wasn’t unbearable until around 2:30am that night it felt like I could literally feel my cervix dilating. I don’t know how exactly to explain this feeling but it felt like something was opening down there. 🤭 if you know what I mean. So I woke up my little family and we went straight to the hospital, and sure enough I was already 5cm dilated, I believe. I labored from 3am to 10am without medication assistance, but the then the doctors needed to intervene because they said I wasn’t making any progress. And Picotin is THE ABSOLUTE WORST, it made contractions unbearable and I opted into the twilight medication again (I was familiar which this medication because I used it with my first delivery because I was induced and I didn’t want epidural.) long story short, I delivered my second around 1:55pm and that time around I felt more prepared.
What to bring
Now pull out your notepads because this what I recommend EVERY FIRST TIME MAMA to pack in her hospital bag. (Don’t forget hubby’s clothes either!)
1. Lipchap/lotion/essential oils.
2. Roku Box, Google Speaker, or some sort of your favorite entertainment.
3. Camera/sd cards
3. Chargers
4. Comfy clothes
5. Outfit to go home for you and baby.
6. Necessities
7. Pack light snacks. (Some hospitals don’t allow you to eat during labor.)
Favorite slippers or socks (All the nurses kept complimenting my comfy socks!)
I had all my favorite playlist loaded and ready prior to labor because I knew I needed my favorite tunes to stay sane during this. I brought my Roku box with for my first baby, and I watched Key & Peele during labor. It was funny for the nurses when they’ll come in during. (Probably gave them a laugh relief while working too.) I wore my favorite comfy socks with the slip grips on the bottom, now every time I wear them around the house it remind me of when I met my bundle of joy. I have a pair that resonates with each labor. Do what you think will make this a memorable, comfortable experience for you. All the little things matter.
Medication
I didn’t use epidural, but I did use the twilight medicine (Twilight Anesthesia) it sort of makes you loopy, it doesn’t relieve the pain it just made me not care about it. I think I would have just done it completely without any medication assistance if I didn’t have Picotin (a medication the doctors put in IV to increase contractions or speed up contractions if needed.) which made my contractions amplified. I labored for the first 8 hours without any medication assistance but as I stated before they said my labor was not progressing fast enough naturally. And omg if it would have I think I could of done it solely without. I’m not a fan of medication unless absolutely necessary and the long term effect of epidural just don’t sit right with me. If you want to use epidural, GO FOR IT. It may be a better option for you and I know if I have another baby, I may just use ONLY if I have to get picotin again. But my next baby will be hopefully be a home delivery and things are smooth sailing. (A girl can dream right?)😅
Be prepared that a ceserian aka c section may happen, and/or could happen at any time. Labor is unpredictable, doctors are people just like me and you who’ve decided to study medicine, the human body, etc and they only know the information and resources that is provided or that they’ve recently discovered. So don’t be discouraged or scared if this has to happen.
Being scared
Being scared is normal and it’s okay. With my second one I was petrified but I felt prepared. The simple fact of not knowing what will happen is what scared me the most and how people brush off labor as it isn’t something that you can die during the process of. I was so irritable about everything, my emotions were all over the place, I felt like no one cared about my feelings, or maybe I expected people to care more because I was carrying a bun in the oven. WHO KNOWS!? My depression was off the grid, But there’s help, reach out before you react to things. I lost close friends, family members, because I didn’t reach out for help, and it’s avoidable. If your friends and family care about you they’ll be there for you also, you just have to tell them what you need mentally, physically, whatever the case may be, and if their not doing so, then maybe you could leave them alone and focus on your emotions, your health, baby, and the ones who do show you that they care.
It’s hard out here for us all, there’s resources and tools to help.
Giving birth is a magical, sacred experience. For many first time moms you’re probably exploring your options and what’s best for your newborn. I personally was very interested in the Lotus Birth approach and here’s my opinion on this topic.
Lotus Birth is the practice of allowing the umbilical cord to naturally detach itself from baby. There are spiritual purposes, and health benefits of why mothers practice this method. There isn’t very much research and information available on this topic according to doctors. And this method isn’t supported by World Health Organization (WHO) as it is said to pose high risk of infection. “Practitioners ofLotus Birth claim the practice to have these benefits: a gentle, less-invasive transition for the baby from womb to the world. increased blood and nourishment from the placenta, decreased injury to the belly button..”
Please do research and I would not recommend this unless you have a highly experienced doctor/midwife who is very familiar with approach, as information is always constantly developing, hopefully soon there’ll be more available regarding this topic.
I did a ton of research on this topic; as this was the approach I was interested in taking with my first child, and I quote my OB, “This unsanitary trend poses a high risk of infections to both you and your unborn child.” Why does it seem like doctors are so against this method? For one, as I previously stated above, there isn’t enough information available to them to suggest this alternative method. Does that mean that you shouldn’t try it? Well, our goal as parents is to make sure that we’re doing what’s best for our babies and ourselves. And just because it’s a popular trend doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best route to take. My OB was highly against this approach but she suggested Delayed Cord Clamping.
I had already done some research on Delayed Cord Clampingas well and it has pretty similar benefits to the Lotus Birth. I did this method with both of my children and I will say the benefits are phenomenal. I can only have a valid opinion on things I’m familiar with so I can’t give anymore information on the Lotus Birth topic but here’s what I know and experienced with Delayed cord clamping.
Delayed Cord Clamping Benefits
I know that this approach is practiced on healthy moms and infants that pose no health risks and who are without complications. I delayed my cord clamping for a few minutes with both of my children. You can delay it up to 3 minutes; it’s entirely up to you. Being a young mom I took the recommendation my OB suggested and the information I already knew.
1. Lowers chances of Anemia
I solely breastfed both of my children, so their chances of being anemic is relatively high compared to children who aren’t breastfed. So I would do anything I can to help increase their iron intake; as iron is important for brain development and growth. This method is said to prevent iron deficiency.
2. Better Chances for Preterm delivery
Anything can happen, at anytime when you least expect it. You’re little one can decide TODAY is my day! And this method is said to improve blood pressure for premature babies and that they’ll need fewer medications for blood pressure. Here’s a link!
I’m only providing two of the benefits that resonated with why I chose to delay the cutting of the cord. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE attempting these approach, just make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into!
Tai’s online! 